Well, I'm much happier with the 11 week size than last week's! lol. What can I say, I really like limes. :P
Ben had his first "Daddy" panic yesterday. He didn't give me a lot of detail, since it happened while he was at work and away from me. All he said was that he started worrying about being a good Dad and money, that sort of thing. All I could say was that God gave us these two little ones. He wouldn't have done that if He knew we wouldn't be able to properly care for his blessings. Which I guess was what kept running through Ben's mind when he started getting nervous. He said he spent a lot of time praying about it.
I must admit, I've had my own worry moments. Well ... freak out moments, really. I'll get this sick feeling in my stomach as I start thinking about something going wrong with the pregnancy, or when they're little. Being on the bump doesn't really help in these situations. I've read stories about people leaving their babies in the car (these were in Florida .. the stories all had sad endings), one about a one week old twin needing surgery, and not making it (leaving the mom to take one baby home to a nursery filled with two of everything), women who make it to 22 weeks just to lose their babies then, not to mention the heartbreaking story of my friend Melissa (which I will not post here, out of respect for her.) Just today I read a post about a women carrying twins who endured a gush of blood at 12 weeks. Really not what I need to see right now! I'm two days away from being at 12 weeks myself. They say once you're past your 12th week, you're pretty much set as far as the miscarriage thing goes. But I've read so many stories to the contrary. I've spent more than one night crying over the fear of losing even one of my peanuts.
I'm sure I'm not so different from other first-time pregnant women. With no idea of what to expect, everything runs through your mind. Unfortunately, I'm the type to think of the worst. I stress over every little thing that could go wrong. What if we make it through the pregnancy, all the way to full term, and then once we get home something happens to one of them? What if we get into a car accident? Car seats are supposed to protect them, but how much can they really do? It's in these moments that I should follow Ben's lead and just start to pray. But most of the time I can't break myself out of it. It seems like the only thing I do pray about lately is the babies. That they'll be healthy. That we'll make it to full term. That I make the right choices now to give them everything they need to grow properly. I'm constantly thinking about what to eat, how much to eat, how to lie down ... Everything in my mind is centered on them. I've laid on my stomach once since I found out I was pregnant, and that was only so Ben could rub my back. I try not to lie on my back or my stomach, make sure I don't eat more than one serving of fish per week, try to make sure I'm getting enough calcium and protein and fruits and veggies ... I forgot to take my prenatal vitamin one day and nearly cried when I realized it the next.
I'm so scared that I'll do something wrong and hurt or hinder one of my children.
I really do have the best husband when it comes to all this, though. Ben has turned into such a mother hen. I wince and he's instantly asking me what I need or what he can do to help. I mention that something sounds good, and he goes to find it for me. We were at Kevin and Karen's and I mused that I wanted a cup of milk. I figured I'd get it when we got home, right? Wrong. Without my realizing it, he went to find Karen and when she said it was ok, went into the kitchen to get one for me. When he came back with it, I told him that I wasn't saying it so he'd get it for me. He responded with this look and "Please. That's why I'm here." He wants to do everything he can, and it's just so sweet. I know I'm blessed. There are plenty of women on the bump who post about their husbands not understanding, or just ignoring the things they ask for. One of the many reasons I love Ben is because he's such a caretaker, and so tenderhearted. I know he's going to be a wonderful father, because he's just such an amazing husband.
I've got a little while to go before my next appointment, but I'm so excited. It's such a thrill to get to see my little ones growing, to see the changes from the last time I saw them. And I can't wait to gush about the experience of hearing two heartbeats for the first time!
Til next time!
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Ten Weeks Four Days/Two Prunes
I'm not too fond of this stage of development - only because my babies are compared to prunes!! All the others seem to be ok, but I just get this wrinkle-the-nose feeling when I read about them being the size of prunes. As far as the comparisons go, it's only for length (after all, later on they go from a melon to a banana. Or something like that) and the babes are about an inch/inch and a quarter right now. It's hard to picture. Sometimes I forget that I'm pregnant. For about a minute. But it's only because I don't have that "constant reminder" yet. No belly, no movements. Plenty of morning sickness though!
I woke up last night with the worst taste in the back of my throat. I actually couldn't sleep because of it. I've read on thebump.com about a bad taste being a side effect of pregnancy, but that was the first time I'd ever experienced it. So I got up to get a Preggie Pop Drop, and that got rid of the taste enough that I could go back to sleep. Not to mention I prayed the whole time I was sucking on it that God would prevent me from having that symptom again! I prayed that the taste would be a "distant memory" when I woke in the morning, and luckily I really can't remember too much of the actual taste. Just that it was awful. The morning sickness hasn't been to the point where I vomit, but I do have quite a bit of the nausea. I don't really mind it though. That or the tiredness, or the hard time sleeping. These are my constant reminders for now. I know I complain to Ben (especially about being uncomfortable in the heat) but I really am enjoying my pregnancy. I love when each new week starts and I get to look up what's going on with my lil buns now - how much they've grown, what's beginning to work, how much they're moving.
Speaking of moving ... this past Monday I had to go out to Hartford. Twins are considered high risk pregnancy, so I had to go talk to the high risk doctors at St. Francis. Donna drove me out there (it took about an hour), so we got to talk and hang out. We had to sit in the waiting room for a long time (got there early, and they were about half an hour late calling me in) but when we finally got settled in the room, the nurse (named Becky, haha) used the best ultrasound machine to check on my peanuts. We got to see their heartbeats (167 and 170, first time I found out how fast they were, and Donna's first time seeing them - it was still too early to hear them, though), but more importantly, I watched my babies move around! I'd never seen them moving before. No spinning and twisting like the girls on the bump talk about, but I got to see little arms waving, and mini sit ups. I nearly teared up... but I didn't want to be all sappy. I'm trying not to cry so easily, but it isn't working. (Ben and I watched Bolt over the weekend and even though I'd seen it before and didn't cry then, I totally cried at the end of it this time)
Then the doctor came in and talked about the "risks" with twins - the same as the risks for any pregnancy, just a little bit higher, since there are two babies to potentially throw wrenches in the mix. He also said that if I can make it to an "acceptable" gestation week, then I can deliver at Day Kimball! I only want to because it's so close to home. He told me that if I were to go to St. Francis at, say, week 20 and I was having contractions or this and that was showing up on the ultrasound, then they would admit me there. And if I were to go into labor too early at home, then Day Kimball would send me up to the hospital in Worcester (since it's the closest one with a good NICU). So we're praying that these two little ones hold out for a good long time. Oh, I also found out that full term for twins is 36 weeks (twins actually develop faster, like they know that they won't make it to the full 40!), and they won't let me go past 38 weeks. So I'll definitely be having these guys in January at the latest! I'd love to make it to 36 weeks. I want them to be healthy.
I'm going to try to start packing with whatever boxes I can find, since we'll be moving next month!! I can't wait to move and have more room, and be able to work on the nursery!! Life is so good. ^_^
I woke up last night with the worst taste in the back of my throat. I actually couldn't sleep because of it. I've read on thebump.com about a bad taste being a side effect of pregnancy, but that was the first time I'd ever experienced it. So I got up to get a Preggie Pop Drop, and that got rid of the taste enough that I could go back to sleep. Not to mention I prayed the whole time I was sucking on it that God would prevent me from having that symptom again! I prayed that the taste would be a "distant memory" when I woke in the morning, and luckily I really can't remember too much of the actual taste. Just that it was awful. The morning sickness hasn't been to the point where I vomit, but I do have quite a bit of the nausea. I don't really mind it though. That or the tiredness, or the hard time sleeping. These are my constant reminders for now. I know I complain to Ben (especially about being uncomfortable in the heat) but I really am enjoying my pregnancy. I love when each new week starts and I get to look up what's going on with my lil buns now - how much they've grown, what's beginning to work, how much they're moving.
Speaking of moving ... this past Monday I had to go out to Hartford. Twins are considered high risk pregnancy, so I had to go talk to the high risk doctors at St. Francis. Donna drove me out there (it took about an hour), so we got to talk and hang out. We had to sit in the waiting room for a long time (got there early, and they were about half an hour late calling me in) but when we finally got settled in the room, the nurse (named Becky, haha) used the best ultrasound machine to check on my peanuts. We got to see their heartbeats (167 and 170, first time I found out how fast they were, and Donna's first time seeing them - it was still too early to hear them, though), but more importantly, I watched my babies move around! I'd never seen them moving before. No spinning and twisting like the girls on the bump talk about, but I got to see little arms waving, and mini sit ups. I nearly teared up... but I didn't want to be all sappy. I'm trying not to cry so easily, but it isn't working. (Ben and I watched Bolt over the weekend and even though I'd seen it before and didn't cry then, I totally cried at the end of it this time)
Then the doctor came in and talked about the "risks" with twins - the same as the risks for any pregnancy, just a little bit higher, since there are two babies to potentially throw wrenches in the mix. He also said that if I can make it to an "acceptable" gestation week, then I can deliver at Day Kimball! I only want to because it's so close to home. He told me that if I were to go to St. Francis at, say, week 20 and I was having contractions or this and that was showing up on the ultrasound, then they would admit me there. And if I were to go into labor too early at home, then Day Kimball would send me up to the hospital in Worcester (since it's the closest one with a good NICU). So we're praying that these two little ones hold out for a good long time. Oh, I also found out that full term for twins is 36 weeks (twins actually develop faster, like they know that they won't make it to the full 40!), and they won't let me go past 38 weeks. So I'll definitely be having these guys in January at the latest! I'd love to make it to 36 weeks. I want them to be healthy.
I'm going to try to start packing with whatever boxes I can find, since we'll be moving next month!! I can't wait to move and have more room, and be able to work on the nursery!! Life is so good. ^_^
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Nine Weeks Three Days/Two Green Olives
Today I decided to change my blog from just me to about my pregnancy. I have a feeling that some of my daily life will jump in every now and then, but I'd like to have some sort of focus. (I'm not erasing the old posts, since I was not yet preggers then. It will be sort of a then-to-now type thing.) I'd read somewhere that keeping a journal of your pregnancy is a good idea, since you tend to forget things, or miss out on what is so great about what you're going through right then. I kept telling myself that I needed to get another diary or little notebook, and then I remembered that I had this blog.
I'll title each post with how far along I am, and the size the babies are according to length of time. (I love thebump.com for the forums and for all the information on what's going on in each week. I love seeing how my twins grow - even if it's just compared to fruits and veggies!)
I'm in my third month, and thus far I've been pretty lucky as far as symptoms go. Morning sickness hits occassionally - when I'm hungry or have just eaten. No vomiting from it, I just get sick to my stomach. I get tired so quickly now, and the length of time between getting hungry has just about disappeared! My stomach rumbles hours before it used to, but I also fill up faster than I did. When before I would eat a sandwich, fruit, chips, granola bar, fruit snacks, and crackers for lunch, I now have a sandwich and a handful of chips or some fruit and I'm done. It's funny, I expected to eat so much more. Maybe I am eating more, it just doesn't look it because of my getting hungrier earlier. I worry sometimes that I'm not getting enough calories in. I'm supposed to be eating an additional 600 calories a day - 300 per baby. And then I worry about nutrients and if I'm getting all the vitamins the babies need. I take my prenatal, but I'm still nervous.
I'm also not sleeping well at night. I hear that's pretty common. Though, that has always been common with me. When I first got pregnant, I was so wiped by the end of the day that sleeping was not a problem. I was out before Ben, and sleeping through the night. Now I toss and turn like I used to, wake up multiple times and can't get back to sleep. Maybe my body is just getting me ready for when the babies are here and I never sleep! lol. I used to never be able to nap unless I was sick. When I first got prego, I actually napped. Which was such a shocker. I haven't recently, just because of my issues sleeping. But that is something I wouldn't be upset getting again!
Ben has always called me his vampire - I've always leaned toward being cold. I've turned into such a warmie since the twins came along! The summer heat is uncomfortable and has made me cry more than once. A/C is a blessing, and I find myself in desperate need of air conditioning every day. Especially with this crazy heat wave that we've been getting. It's awful! It hit 102 the other day!! I bury myself in the bedroom (the only room in the apartment with a/c) and spend the majority of my day in there. Unless I manage to make it to a friend's pool. Pools are lovely. I've found a new appreciation for them. ^_^
Oh! Ben and I decided on our Halloween costumes this year. We're both going to be nuns. LOL! A pregnant nun and a male nun. We were cracking up about it last night. I figure in October I should have some belly, right? I'll be at the end of my second trimester.
That's one thing I just can't wait for. I want the big belly so it's obvious that I'm prego. ^_^ I'll probably get it later than most (being overweight and having your own belly to begin with is probably gonna hide a baby belly), but I'm excited. I plan on making my own maternity shirts. I've got the transfers. Somewhere ... I've just got to find them. Speaking of, I should really stop writing now and get to cleaning. The apartment isn't exactly at it's prettiest.
Til next time!
I'll title each post with how far along I am, and the size the babies are according to length of time. (I love thebump.com for the forums and for all the information on what's going on in each week. I love seeing how my twins grow - even if it's just compared to fruits and veggies!)
I'm in my third month, and thus far I've been pretty lucky as far as symptoms go. Morning sickness hits occassionally - when I'm hungry or have just eaten. No vomiting from it, I just get sick to my stomach. I get tired so quickly now, and the length of time between getting hungry has just about disappeared! My stomach rumbles hours before it used to, but I also fill up faster than I did. When before I would eat a sandwich, fruit, chips, granola bar, fruit snacks, and crackers for lunch, I now have a sandwich and a handful of chips or some fruit and I'm done. It's funny, I expected to eat so much more. Maybe I am eating more, it just doesn't look it because of my getting hungrier earlier. I worry sometimes that I'm not getting enough calories in. I'm supposed to be eating an additional 600 calories a day - 300 per baby. And then I worry about nutrients and if I'm getting all the vitamins the babies need. I take my prenatal, but I'm still nervous.
I'm also not sleeping well at night. I hear that's pretty common. Though, that has always been common with me. When I first got pregnant, I was so wiped by the end of the day that sleeping was not a problem. I was out before Ben, and sleeping through the night. Now I toss and turn like I used to, wake up multiple times and can't get back to sleep. Maybe my body is just getting me ready for when the babies are here and I never sleep! lol. I used to never be able to nap unless I was sick. When I first got prego, I actually napped. Which was such a shocker. I haven't recently, just because of my issues sleeping. But that is something I wouldn't be upset getting again!
Ben has always called me his vampire - I've always leaned toward being cold. I've turned into such a warmie since the twins came along! The summer heat is uncomfortable and has made me cry more than once. A/C is a blessing, and I find myself in desperate need of air conditioning every day. Especially with this crazy heat wave that we've been getting. It's awful! It hit 102 the other day!! I bury myself in the bedroom (the only room in the apartment with a/c) and spend the majority of my day in there. Unless I manage to make it to a friend's pool. Pools are lovely. I've found a new appreciation for them. ^_^
Oh! Ben and I decided on our Halloween costumes this year. We're both going to be nuns. LOL! A pregnant nun and a male nun. We were cracking up about it last night. I figure in October I should have some belly, right? I'll be at the end of my second trimester.
That's one thing I just can't wait for. I want the big belly so it's obvious that I'm prego. ^_^ I'll probably get it later than most (being overweight and having your own belly to begin with is probably gonna hide a baby belly), but I'm excited. I plan on making my own maternity shirts. I've got the transfers. Somewhere ... I've just got to find them. Speaking of, I should really stop writing now and get to cleaning. The apartment isn't exactly at it's prettiest.
Til next time!
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